Sunday, August 18, 2013




Hello, everybody Kate here.
Yeah... I know what you are thinking...
I just came to talk about how obnoxious Kim and Kanye West are. I mean, seriously, just show the world your baby. I mean, if you haven't noticed you haven't been on the cover of a magazine lately, and Kim, you brought this upon yourselves. I mean, I showed my baby, and I'm on the cover of a thousand magazines. But you are not. Plus, everybody just thinks you are afraid to show your grotesque baby. I mean, North probably has horns, and red dry skin. She probably takes after Kim. :) Jk, my princess lips (very full) will not give such an insult to a little baby who did nothing.
But actually, I have pity for her. She should be embarrassed by her mom, I mean, look what she wore when she was pregnant.
 I mean, seriously? You'd think you'd want to be more dressed up when you were pregnant. (Well, if you were Kim...)
You see, I was sneaky when I was pregnant. I enunciated my baby bump because it was adorable that I was pregnant.
But Kim did that to, but she looked HIDEOUS!!! I mean, when they saw her they didn't say, "Awe! She's the first royal in a long time to be pregnant!" But they said. "Ugh, another pregnant celebrity? That's the fifth one this week!!!"
But yes, I'm sure (since I am his mother) my baby is like 50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times cuter than North West. I don't even know what that number says... oh well, it's true.
But yes, I honestly think that Kim made a mistake. She never should've had a baby. And she should shut that ugly mouth and show everyone her hideous baby.
No one will judge her. Well, except for me.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Okay, I came on today to ask a simple question.
Who should be George's godparents?
Everybody is thinking it's going to be Harry and Pippa, but actually, I'm not so sure.... because when I was a teenager (best years of my life, btdubs) but yeah, we got in a fight about how we were prettier than one another. (mom thought I was prettier) and she was mad so she said that when I had a baby she was going to murder it.
Well, obviously I was mad. So I said;
"Well, you'll never get my hands on my baby, because it's going to be royal, and your hands aren't worthy of a royal baby," I told her.
She scoffed. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. I mean, what. Do you think that Prince William will marry you? Please, you aren't worthy of such a man. He deserves gorgeousness. He deserves me."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh you just wait and see..."
I always knew I was worthy enough to be a royal. Go me!!!
But I still have a grudge against her. I can't let her win. I don't know what will happen. But honestly. My gorgeous baby is too gorgeous for her. I mean, he looks just like me. She can't take care of a second me if I die.
But, this basically isn't an issue. Everybody is obsessed with me, and they will NOT let me die. I already have like thousands of body guards. So why not hire nobody? There's an idea.
But what stinks is that it is "traditional" to have godparents. I mean, of all the people on the earth, Will and I are the least likely to die, right? I mean, Obama might die. (Assassination) and he also might die because he got in an accident or something. I don't know.
But yeah. Pippa is such a jerk. She's visiting today, because she is totally trying to ride on my fame. She is still mad that Will took me and not her. It think that she's going for Harry...
But they are already related! That little scumbag! She can't marry him. They are basically siblings! But anyways, that lion is determined, and she won't give up. She will become a royal no matter how much it takes, because that's just the kind of person Pippa is, a nasty, retarded idiot.
So maybe the country will pick George's godparents.
I hope not.